- Lie's -

this is something that I've come to realise over the past week or so but I've only just been able to get my head around the idea.
Lies.
this is some thing that EVERY1  no matter, who you think you are (you really can't avoid it) you lie. Some of us know it, most of us refuse to believe it and that little percentage that don't fall into those Two categories use it to there advantage.

To the ones that Know It:
we know we lie, it's like a compulsion that we have. And we have no control over AT ALL! sometimes when we spin our little wheel of lies things get out of hand and one thing leads to another, that's an uncontrollable lire. they fall into this category only because it's a compulsion to them. And then there are the clever one who can control there lying ways, they still lie but only to a point  they've set in there head that says "that's enough" and these are the smarts ones , the ones who don't get caught or get into trouble and this is about where i am on the scale.

To the 1's that Refuse To Believe It:

these people are ignorant bastards in my opinion, but hey you may think differently. to me these are the kinds of people that just get on every ones nerves all the time. the people that believe that lying doesn't even exist are so delusional into there own little world that they actually, truly believe that the

shit that comes out of there mouths is actually true. 

(sorry about the excessive use of language, but this kind of persons annoy the crap out of me)

To The One's That Use It:

Well if you just so happen to know that people are lying then you probably have the same agreement that these people usually wear suits and are utter dicks.
but for those of you that don;t realise that your being lied to, well take a psychology quick sesh and find out what you can about lying traits and how to spot them.
these are the people that will lie to get what they want.

There are no hero's among thieves.



- Grief -

this is some thing that my family and i have had to deal with recently.
It isn't exactly explained that well when we are kids, how life and death really work. My parents did try how ever, to explain how it all worked. they took us to 1 or two relative funerals when my brother and i where younger but we were that young that we just sat at the back and asked every five minutes or so "how long 'till we leave?".

......i remember being that young... always on the move to explore and run around and get in trouble, ah the life that we once live.....

Human death had never really affected me after since my introduction to, it's just been something that I've shrugged off...... until recently.
But the strange thing is that i cared more about when one of my best Friends (my pets) died than family members.
That all changed earlier this yeah unfortunately my baby cousin died for the second time in a year. this death has had more of an effect than anything else in my life. at the time of his death i was already in therapy for other reasons. But even though i had talked to this therapist before sharing what i was really thinking about death, with her it just didn't seem right. Man I'm pretty sure i said more to my English teacher (by accident as a way of explaining things) than to any one else.

it's only now that i am able to talk or even share it with you now, it is still difficult.....

My mother has always said that people deal with death in there own way and that there's no way to help someone get through it, not really anyway.
and that's mainly because every one take sit in differently, some try to make themselves feel eh pain that they believe the dearly departed is feeling, other's shut every one out, some pretend that nothing has even happened (denial) or the grab for attention.

To me that is what my Aunt (my baby cousin's mother) has done. She goes out nearly every night and gets drunk (in my mind she gets drunk so that she can forget) and she rapidly spends money on things that are not needed. Her action's anger me with a rage that i have never felt before towards any human being that i have ever met. I'm angry at her because she seems (to me) to have forgotten that she has a daughter to look after! as well as her self . Don't get me wrong i love her to bits and pieces but i can;t look at her in the same way that i used too... i look at her and see hatred and a grate sadness that can never be removed...it's like a stain, a stain on all our souls.
But this is how she's dealing with it and that's what I have to deal with.

How i deal with grief is a lot different, i don't even think that i can describe it. but i do know for a cold fact that i would rather tell complete strangers about what I'm really feeling  than face the look of  pity that i see in my parents and friends faces.

- Boredom  -

this is something that most of us will face every day.
most of us won't really notice it or even do any thing about it but that's what you get when you live in the twenty first century. everything you want is right there at your finger tips and no one says no to you, no matter your age.
There's no adventure in any ones life, no temptation, no danger.

 It's like we've been wrapped up in bubble wrap and gotten so used to it.

And because of this we we're bored.

its as simple as that.

And do you want to know what we do when we realise this sad, sad truth?
we blame some one else but never ourselves AND that's who we need to blame for our own laziness not someone who you've never met.

It's a miracle that we've (the entire human population) have accomplished anything at all in the past Two Hundred year's considering what we've put each other through.

but anyway back to bitching about how bored i am with life, I've decided to go and make my self a cuppa and Not Be Bored.