Goth Challenge

DAY 5 : Is there a local Gothic bands of group in your area?

No. apart from my to friends who are for the most part goths.

Goth Challenge

DAY FOUR: Name a stereotype or cliche that you relate to?

In most part i relate to the witch and Victorian styles. i realise that if i were a witch back in the Victorian age that i would be hung or drowned until death, but that's the price you pay for being different in a time when no one understands.
i guess that i also relate to the recent vampire trends (BUT NOT TWILIGHT!!!!!), that and my friends are notoriously known to be wearing there fangs and they all have pal skin too, so i just try to blend as their human/ witch pet he he.

Goth Challenge

DAY THREE: When did you come out of the Goth Closet?

i can't say that i really ever came out the "Goth Closet", but i did show most traces of Gothicdom in "08 (Year 9) and then receded back into the "Goth Closet" for further analysis until i had more confidence, like Dalestair.



Goth Challenge

Day Two: Share photo's and experiences from you baby bat days.

i don't remember this photo.

this was taken just before we left for my mothers wedding, i was her flower girl. it was a grate day until the priest gave me a candle and every one was telling me to blow it out when they where trying to take the group photo's. those silly priests.

I don't remember this photo either.

this is by far my best ever school photo, i think it was taken in grade 4, I'm not sure my memory sucks at that kind of thing.

my mother took this for me after she spent 2 hours doing my make up for my year seven graduation, I'm pretty sure that i still have the dress. :)

this is a failed attempt at modeling and out fit that i literary tied together.
(taken by my mother with a FILM camera. :O)

i don't remember have this photo taken but i think my mother was being a little cheeky on one of my worst hair day's. -.-' i swear that i will get her back for this!

this is one of my own photo shots from last year,  when i first started to take my styling of fashion seriously. i think it turned out pretty well.

i had the idea for this photo at school last term, but i had my friend take it and let her edit it as she felt. with the overall effect,  i love it. Thanks C

this photo was taken the night that i got the dress for my baby cousins funeral (that's the black dress that I'm wearing in the photo) but the smile on my face shows who i really am and that makes it my favorite. :)

Goth Challenge

DAY ONE: How Did You Come Across The Gothic Subculture?



Back in 2008 (which was year 9 of my high school career) i came across the subculture of  "Goth" by making new friends. I originally took onto the culture as "Emo" but i DID NOT cut myself or have ever tried to (despite my obsession with suicide). And from then on Gothic clothing, music, literature and general population with the culture have been apart of my life.

I've noticed that i haven't been writing a lot of excuses (that don't involve food) so I'll be back in a few days with new excuses on Being Human and also the Goth Challenge (as requested by some friends)

ta ta for now K.

Excuse 123212434

Chocolate.

It's a known fact that chocolate has an ingredient in it that activates a chemical in you brain that helps you to relax and feel happy :)
this fact got me thinking the other day; if chocolate can make you feel better, what other foods can to?

Time to hit the google button me thinks'
this what i found:

11 foods that can make you happyMIND YOUR BODY By Willie T. Ong, MD

You’ve had a bad day. You’re feeling cranky and lonely. What to do? Aside from finding ways to fix your problem, try these comfort foods to make you happy. The secret is in choosing foods rich in omega-3 fats, folic acid, selenium, and vitamin B12. These nutrients can lift your mood, so let’s check them out:

1) Milk, preferably skim milk. Milk products are rich in tryptophan, an amino acid our brain needs in order to make serotonin. Serotonin is a natural chemical that makes us happy and calm. Anti-depressants work in a similar way by conserving the brain’s serotonin. Milk also contains antioxidants, vitamin D, and vitamin B12 that help fight stress and aging. Have some skim milk every day. It’ll make you happier and the calcium content is good for your bones, too.

2) Chocolate. Who needs an excuse to eat chocolate? Not me. Chocolate contains anadamine, a brain chemical that helps brighten our mood. Scientists believe that other chemicals in chocolate cause anadamide to stay longer in the brain, thus enhancing its positive effect. The sugar in chocolate also boosts our levels of endorphins, another hormone that makes us happy. Don’t eat too much, though.

3) Rice, bread, noodles or pasta. Here’s our favorite comfort food – carbohydrates. Don’t believe all those low-carb diets; they can actually make you crabby and gloomy. Eating carbohydrates can increase our serotonin levels, which has a calming effect. But to prevent sudden jumps in your blood sugar, choose healthier carbohydrates like brown rice, wheat bread, and vegetables. These good carbos are digested more slowly and make you fuller and possibly happier for a longer time.

4) Oily fish like salmon, mackerel, sardines. Oily fishes are loaded with omega-3 fatty acids, which can lift our mood. A study in Finland shows that people who eat more fish are less likely to be depressed. High doses of omega-3 may even be used to treat clinical depression. Most fish are also packed with vitamin B6 and B12, which are involved in the production of serotonin. As an alternative, you can try omega-3 supplements. Foods rich in omega-3 will not only make you happier, they’re good for the heart and brain, too.

5) Bananas. Bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin. And we know that serotonin is a hormone that makes us cheerful. Bananas contain carbohydrates as well to boost our energy. Its high potassium content also prevents cramps and it’s good for exercising individuals. Experts believe that bananas are one of the world’s healthiest fruits. So take two bananas a day to keep the doctor away.

6) Broccoli. Broccoli is another amazing food that is full of vitamin B's, the vitamin that helps fight stress. Studies show that folate or folic acid in broccoli can improve our temperament. Aside from lifting our spirits, broccoli is a potent anticancer food, proven in laboratory studies to inhibit cancer cells.

7) Spinach. Popeye’s favorite food! If you want to be so full of zest like Popeye, it pays to eat your spinach. Like broccoli, spinach is packed with folic acid, an important B vitamin for making serotonin, the body’s feel-good chemical. It’s about time we taught our kids about this incredible vegetable. Eat a cup of cooked spinach to obtain approximately 250 micrograms of folic acid. This amount is enough to make you feel like Popeye, full of vigor to face the day.

8) Blueberries. Blueberries are abundant in antioxidants and vitamin C, which are known stress-busters. Antioxidants help remove toxins (called free radicals) that circulate in our body. These free radicals damage our organs and cause us to age faster, that’s why we need to remove them. Blueberries are also loaded with fiber, which is good for digestion. Some studies show that blueberries and strawberries may prevent cancer by removing these destructive free radicals.

9) Beans and soybeans. Beans are packed with soluble fiber, folic acid, and omega-3 fats, the three ingredients known to improve our mood. Beans are also excellent sources of iron and calcium, which can increase our red blood cells, and are good for the bones. Moreover, soy contains genistein, a weak estrogen-like substance, which may prevent prostate and breast cancer. If you like soy milk and taho, they’re good for you, too.

10) Nuts. Nuts are nutritional power foods, rich in protein, minerals (especially selenium), and omega-3 fats. Nuts also contain vitamin E, an antioxidant to fight stress. Locally, we have nilagang mani (boiled peanuts) and cashew nuts. Studies show that Brazil nuts are the number one source of the mineral selenium. Seafood is another good source of selenium. Aside from lifting our mood, nuts are considered as “brain food” because of their high content of omega-3 fats. Omega-3 helps improve the blood flow in our brain. (Students, take note.) Take an ounce of nuts every day. Don’t eat too much of them though, because nuts are salty and high in uric acid, which can be bad for those with high blood pressure and gout.

11) Coffee. A study from Brazil shows that people who drink coffee with milk every day are less likely to suffer from depression. Caffeine is probably the world’s most popular mood-enhancing drug. But it has its pros and cons. Coffee boosts your energy levels, makes you feel more alert, and can improve your memory. A single cup of coffee with milk in the morning can jump start your day. However, too much coffee can also wreck your disposition, cause heart palpitation and anxiety, and make it difficult for you to sleep. A cup or two a day is okay. Small doses of caffeine can improve your mood but too much coffee can be bad for your health.

Finally, any food you crave can be considered your own personal comfort food. Eating anything delicious stimulates the production of endorphins, making us happy. Endorphins can reduce pain sensation, too, and is like the brain’s natural painkiller.

Now, I hope you are feeling better. Just remember to take these foods in moderation. Don’t eat too much or you’ll gain weight. Good luck!

enjoy.

-Art-

Art symbolises the emotional wreckage that we as creative geniuses go through.
For most that are just talented they show boat or there art is just a replica of something that holds nothing over nothing. But those that show what they feel through their art even while they create it, they are the true artist of this world.
Even the Gods show how they feel but creating that of life it’s self and with the world that our life breaths.
“I know it hurts, it was meant to” – Fall Out Boy
As an artist myself i have been through several emotion that have lead to works of art that i can't stand to look anymore and I'm sure that if the viewer new the real feelings/meaning's behind what they saw that wouldn't be able to stop and stare at it either.

But there is an upside to art, that is always as hard to find as a needle in a hay stack. Since artists run on there emotions like clocks run on gears, we are able to inspire and show what others feel as well as what the artist felt while they were creating said art.

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties." Sir Francis Bacon

- belief -

lets just get this out in the open and over and done with, so i can get over the critical back lash that will most likely happen

(NOTE TO ALL THIS IS MY OPINION NOT YOURS! your opinion can be left in the comment section below OK.)

so anyway i figure that it's time that i fill you all in on what i believe in, is it a God? a Goddess? a supernatural animal/creature? or one of the many other religions out there?

the answer is NONE of the above.

i was baptised and all that when i was young but my family and myself have never took to any religion. i myself have tried before of several occasions with several different religions to try and find a faith that suited me, that made me feel welcome and accepted, that would judge and forgive for what is seen wrong in my eyes and there's but i have thus far found no such luck in finding what i believe in.

some of you out there may find this to be way off when it comes to religion but in truth in this century no one really knows, let alone believes in god or has faith anymore.
it's all become to much of a compulsion to have faith or be condemned, everyone uses it as a fear campaign.

So how do you decide which is the right religion to choose?

there is NO correct answer to this question that i pose to you, simple because what we chose to believe and dream can not be taught or fought for, it can only be accepted by you and only you.

(this may be edited later in life because i can't think of more to say )

(i noticed that i haven't been putting up as many excuses as i should have been so here's my latest excuse for being human)

My latest excuse for being human in the 21st century have all but come to a halt. mainly because there just really aren't any real good excuses.
i mean people all over the world use religion as an excuse, which in this case is a benefit for them not for me (considering that i don't hold any true religion)
Politicians have the excuse for living because they "believe they are going to make the world a better place for every one". I'm still waiting to see any said improvements that actually benefits the working class society.

anyway off track there a bit i think.......

my reason for living is simply to find out what i can do with what little strength that i can gather over my years of education and social etiquette and hopefully like most be able to pass on what I've learnt to other, younger generation (well see).

Stayed tuned for my next TWO upcoming posts about religion and alcohol.
Peace Out. K.

- Lie's -

this is something that I've come to realise over the past week or so but I've only just been able to get my head around the idea.
Lies.
this is some thing that EVERY1  no matter, who you think you are (you really can't avoid it) you lie. Some of us know it, most of us refuse to believe it and that little percentage that don't fall into those Two categories use it to there advantage.

To the ones that Know It:
we know we lie, it's like a compulsion that we have. And we have no control over AT ALL! sometimes when we spin our little wheel of lies things get out of hand and one thing leads to another, that's an uncontrollable lire. they fall into this category only because it's a compulsion to them. And then there are the clever one who can control there lying ways, they still lie but only to a point  they've set in there head that says "that's enough" and these are the smarts ones , the ones who don't get caught or get into trouble and this is about where i am on the scale.

To the 1's that Refuse To Believe It:

these people are ignorant bastards in my opinion, but hey you may think differently. to me these are the kinds of people that just get on every ones nerves all the time. the people that believe that lying doesn't even exist are so delusional into there own little world that they actually, truly believe that the

shit that comes out of there mouths is actually true. 

(sorry about the excessive use of language, but this kind of persons annoy the crap out of me)

To The One's That Use It:

Well if you just so happen to know that people are lying then you probably have the same agreement that these people usually wear suits and are utter dicks.
but for those of you that don;t realise that your being lied to, well take a psychology quick sesh and find out what you can about lying traits and how to spot them.
these are the people that will lie to get what they want.

There are no hero's among thieves.



- Grief -

this is some thing that my family and i have had to deal with recently.
It isn't exactly explained that well when we are kids, how life and death really work. My parents did try how ever, to explain how it all worked. they took us to 1 or two relative funerals when my brother and i where younger but we were that young that we just sat at the back and asked every five minutes or so "how long 'till we leave?".

......i remember being that young... always on the move to explore and run around and get in trouble, ah the life that we once live.....

Human death had never really affected me after since my introduction to, it's just been something that I've shrugged off...... until recently.
But the strange thing is that i cared more about when one of my best Friends (my pets) died than family members.
That all changed earlier this yeah unfortunately my baby cousin died for the second time in a year. this death has had more of an effect than anything else in my life. at the time of his death i was already in therapy for other reasons. But even though i had talked to this therapist before sharing what i was really thinking about death, with her it just didn't seem right. Man I'm pretty sure i said more to my English teacher (by accident as a way of explaining things) than to any one else.

it's only now that i am able to talk or even share it with you now, it is still difficult.....

My mother has always said that people deal with death in there own way and that there's no way to help someone get through it, not really anyway.
and that's mainly because every one take sit in differently, some try to make themselves feel eh pain that they believe the dearly departed is feeling, other's shut every one out, some pretend that nothing has even happened (denial) or the grab for attention.

To me that is what my Aunt (my baby cousin's mother) has done. She goes out nearly every night and gets drunk (in my mind she gets drunk so that she can forget) and she rapidly spends money on things that are not needed. Her action's anger me with a rage that i have never felt before towards any human being that i have ever met. I'm angry at her because she seems (to me) to have forgotten that she has a daughter to look after! as well as her self . Don't get me wrong i love her to bits and pieces but i can;t look at her in the same way that i used too... i look at her and see hatred and a grate sadness that can never be removed...it's like a stain, a stain on all our souls.
But this is how she's dealing with it and that's what I have to deal with.

How i deal with grief is a lot different, i don't even think that i can describe it. but i do know for a cold fact that i would rather tell complete strangers about what I'm really feeling  than face the look of  pity that i see in my parents and friends faces.

- Boredom  -

this is something that most of us will face every day.
most of us won't really notice it or even do any thing about it but that's what you get when you live in the twenty first century. everything you want is right there at your finger tips and no one says no to you, no matter your age.
There's no adventure in any ones life, no temptation, no danger.

 It's like we've been wrapped up in bubble wrap and gotten so used to it.

And because of this we we're bored.

its as simple as that.

And do you want to know what we do when we realise this sad, sad truth?
we blame some one else but never ourselves AND that's who we need to blame for our own laziness not someone who you've never met.

It's a miracle that we've (the entire human population) have accomplished anything at all in the past Two Hundred year's considering what we've put each other through.

but anyway back to bitching about how bored i am with life, I've decided to go and make my self a cuppa and Not Be Bored.

My excuse for living today

coffee -  mainly because it keeps me going through the day.

Op Shopping - has become my trend. i am in love with old things and as much as i want to move forward with the rest of the world some times it worth taking that sort trip back in time to relearn what we've forgotten.

Family - Is my life i will take care of them and kick there buts when it comes down to it but i love them no matter what and will always stand by there side till the very end (no matter the crap that they put me through, some how i know there is a very good reason for it).

Music - it keeps me calm in time's of anger and sadness. It has helped me reclaim who i am and shown that i can take a stand. It will always be there no matter the cost and will pull me through what I've lost with every word, every rhyme, every beat.

Good Weather - will put anyone in a good mood hence why i think it is called good weather.

Tip 3:

- Coffee -

a natural motivator in just about every one's daily routine.

"people that drink coffee or a lot of caffeine are less likely to commit suicide" This is because coffee makes you motivated and wakes you up in the morning.

and i LOVE it :)

 

so grab a cup and stay HAPPY.

Tip two:

- the simple pleasures in life -

There are always going to be simple things in life that usher us into tranquillity and allow us to relax, and enjoy what we have.

My personal fave in pleasures is just a nice hot latte and a good book in a quiet sunny afternoon, but everyone differs from what they find a pleasure, some people would prefer to enjoy hunting, sex or just having free time in general.

The real joy of lief in it's play. Play is anything we do for the joy and

love of doing it, apart from any profit, compulsion, or sense of duty.

It is the real joy of living

- Walter Rauschbusch -

The best way to enjoy life is to. . . well there isn't an exact answer to that question, but there are ways to make your life better.

Tip one:

to survive almost anything that humanity will throw at you, you need to have a happy place....

when were young we don't face the same monsters that we face when we grow up, we don't worry about paying bill's or getting food on the table that was always left for someone else to do for us. So we don't need a "happy place" to calm us down, but the moment that we grow up things change

DRAMATICALLY.

and some days we just really can't handle that change, like when the weather changes from hot to cold we get storms or we get sick. That's what happens to us when this dramatic change comes along when get all riled up like a storm and get into fights with people that have done nothing wrong or we get sick. sick of reality, sick of our life.

note that getting sick of humanity is a lot worse than getting mad at it.

why? you may be thinking that, when you get mad you throw a few punches, get some bruises and broken bones but that can all heal in time, six weeks in most cases.
when you get sick it leads you more into a depression and depression is a tricky thing.

depression can make you feel lost, scared and a number of other things, so it is wise to have this happy place on stand by.

 

is always out there if your happy place just so happens to fail you, DO NOT FREAK OUT if this happens to you. there is other help out there.

Depression: An illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts, that affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be wished away. People with a depressive disease cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people with depression - http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=2947

YOUR HAPPY PLACE!

is what ever you want or can imagine it to be.
sometimes finding your happy place can be difficult because you don't really know what it is you like, and that's OK.
so lets start simple, start by just closing your eye's and taking a few deep breaths to slow you heart beat.

then imagine that everything it white.
once you have that pick a colour, any colour will do.
and then pick objects or people that you hate or like and then throw that colour over it/them

and then see how you feel.

Being Human

in practise, being human is all we know. Our future beyond that is a big, dark abyss that we'll never know about until we leap into it.

this blog of words that came from my own imagination is what I'm going to call being human. it's just going to jot out what is even considered human.


so lets start off by explaining why i chose humans as my subject.  choose it because everyone seems to be so obsessed with being something else that they've forgotten that at the end of every day we take off  that mask, that mask that makes us different and then were do we leave our self? we leave ourselves human. and that's just fact.
Being human isn't bad it's just difficult.